dear society,
pack up your airbrush
and your perfect girls
and go home.
im disgusted with my body
and i'm passing the buck
because somewhere along the line
it was decided
that skinny girls
toothpick girls
with knockers
and tans
whose thighs dont touch when they walk
who would get stretch marks if they ate a meal
who can actually fit into your ladies' size small
were the ideal.

whoever started in on pants sizes
decided that all short people are automatically thinner
and that all taller people are automatically wider
(but still skinny)
so when i buy a pair of jeans
to go over my MASSIVE size 9 ass
to stretch over my thighs
which i refuse to label fat
by your fuckup standards
because they are 90% muscle
when i buy those jeans
they're going to be way too long
because remember, short people only go up to size 3.

so remember, boys
the next time you're looking at that skinny girl
that airbrushed, malnourished model
that if you were on top of her
her hipbones would leave you bruises
and that once the airbrushing is gone
and the makeup is off
she might not look so good
and when you wrap your arms around her at night
you'll feel her ribcage on your arm

so what do i do?
eat 2 meals a day instead of 3?
work out constantly?
go tanning?
what a fucking shallow life
where's the experience and love
and education and travel
and tv and food
where's the happiness in that
but what if a girl can't find love
because she's not the ideal
i got lucky
but there are a lot of shallow guys out there

so, society
i wish i could get this lump out of my throat
long enough to tell you that you've
given us all complexes
we need pills and injections and creams
full of shit we can't even pronounce
to make us look manicured and flawless
and tiny
and like we're gonna last forever
but let's think this through
we all die
you can't take it with you
when i look in the mirror
after my hair glaze and whitening strips and sunless tanner
i won't even recognize myself

and while i've got low self esteem...
that thought kinda scares me...

-Maria